The Nemeses of Driving

Top ten piss offs of my driving experience. 

10.  Slow drivers in the passing lane.

I am well aware that the left lane is NOT a fast lane. However, when I am attempting to pass slower traffic and slowers drivers remain in the left lane, I become aggravated. Drivers! Please check your mirrors. Know where drivers are around you. And get out of the way. 

9.    Cell phone talkers

It is the law. If it isn't hands free, put it down. 

8.    Not turning into the appropriate

       lane. 

When you are turning right, it is common sense that you turn into the nearer lane: the right hand lane. Allowing those turning left to turn into the left lane. This allows traffic to move smoothly. The opposite applies to those turning left. Avoid accidents and slowing down traffic flow. Stay in the appropriate lane when turning. 

7.    Bad merging practices

At some point in time you will have to join faster moving traffic. When entering this traffic, there is lane that eventually ends at which point you are to merge. This lane is an acceleration lane. It means you are suppose to speed up to the speed of the highway. This avoids fender benders and car pile ups. 

Also those on the highway, it is your responsibility to allow merging cars into the highway traffic. It means changing out of the right lane.  

6.    Not checking blind spot. 

I am aware that some fancy cars have a blindspot warning. But some day that will break and most cars on the road do not have this feature. Your blindspot, when driving, is a part of the surrounding area of your vehicle that cannot been seen by your mirrors. By giving a quick glance over your shoulder to make sure the way is free, allows you to move left or right without side swiping a fellow driver. Taking this precaution will make you, your fellow drivers, and your insurance company very happy. 

5.    Intersection blockers

We live in North America. It is a culture that revolves around the automobile. The amount of money that is spent on advertising by the car companies is teatimony to this. 

As a result there is gridlock. It is frustrating but a necessary evil. But pulling into an intersection, when you cannot clear the intersection, you are adding to the problem. We are all in a rush to get to where we are going. Don't prevent someone else from getting to their destination. 

4.    Pesdestrians not on sidewalks. 

At some point in time the city planners figured out that pedestrian deaths are reduced when they are given a designated area on the streets. So why are some of you not using them?  And dressed all in black at night increases your chances of being run down. If this is your goal, your success is imminent. 

Also those who chose to step into the street while waiting for the traffic light to change, are also looking to be run down. Someone attempting to make a right hand turn (on a red light. permitted in Ontario) may run you down. Is the designated sidewalk too small?  Is it so important to be the first one across the street?  Please allow drivers their space. 

3.    Cyclist that don't know they are 

        a vehicle. 

I have respect for cyclists, especially those who are couriers. But according to the Ontario Traffic Act, you are a vehicle. This means that you must obey the same signals, laws and signage that a motor vehicle must obey. This for your protection. Protect yourself. Someone wants you to come home at the end of the day. 

2.    Highway 401. 

Need I say more.?

1.    Indicator non users. 

Many drivers may not have read their car manual. I am pretty sure that among many features that are described in this novel are the indicators and the tool used to control them. In case this page is missing from your manual, their purpose is to inform other drivers of your intention to turn or change lanes. This may seem a tedious thing but it will make you loved by other drivers. 

I am sure their are many things on the roads that burn your buns. Please feel to share. 

So Much to Say.

Wow. There has been so much happening these past few months both personally and out there in the world: kid issues; a new relationship; a very long political campaign; ensueing election and a new government. It has actually made it hard for me to chose a topic. Really, this will be about all of these. 

What I have learnt through this time is that I just have to keep moving forward. And yes there were times when it seemed that a tortoise with a hernia was passing me. But whether they were grand strides, or wee baby steps I just kept taking them. 

I was battling a system that is archaic and does not understand the significance or how to deal with mental illness. I felt like I was not just battling a disease but the health care system to get the help needed. 

I challenge Prime Minister elect Justin Trudeau to take a hard look at how those with mental illness are treated.  I know there is a history in your family. I hope you and your loved ones were treated better than my family. 

Relationships are not for the faint hearted. There are always challenges: geographic; personal life choices; and of course the baggage accumulated over any lifetime. But just like with any relationship, honesty, patience, and the confidence to be yourself is the only way to go. 

Canada has just been through one of the longest election campaigns ever and all the parties went through ups and downs in the polls. Thank God the ordeal is over; no more mud slinging; no more creations of issues that really weren't issues; and the spin doctors putting in extra hours. Canadians have chosen a change. Let's hope we get it. 

All these events taught me that Life ain't for wimps. Courage is needed everyday. Sometimes that means heading into aa battle  head on and others it means to retreat and regroup. True wisdom is knowing when to do what. 

Family and Its Many Wonders.

Christina and Daniel, July 17, 2015

Today was an extraordinary day. My nephew Daniel married a beautiful young lady, Christina. It was the chance for the extended families of both bride and groom to come together and celebrate. As I have not been part of Christina's family until today, the following observations are of The Maidens Clan. 

I am sure we are not unlike other families in that large get togethers get limited to weddings and sadly funerals. We are have lives of our own, children responsibilities and jobs that overwhelm the idea of planning just a big party for the Hell of it. I fault no one for this. 

The Maidens Clan is large and far reaching for many reasons. My brothers and sisters have been born in four different countries (Canada, USA, Jamaica, Colombia). And now we live in five different countries (Canada, USA, Columbia, Domincan Republic & Haiti). So geographically, we are challenged to impromtu casual gatherings. But thankfully for for this special day, all my siblings were in the same place at the same time. 

Each of us have had our own personal challenges in our lives that may have kept us apart. These may include financial or emotional or others. Again I fault no one for this. We all have our own pathes to walk and it would be unrealistic that such an eclectic group of people would have pathes that meet perfectly. 

I am the youngest at 45 years old. Four and a half decades is a long time to wait. I was overwhelmed both by the fact we were here but also by the fact that it took so long for it to happen. 

My father is now almost 80 years old. He has become frail over last few years, and feels that his time is coming soon. I don't think I am the only one who believes he is just to too onery too die. There is that old saying: Only the Good Die Young. Lol. 

I could see the emotion in my father as he watched his children talking with each other, exchanging hugs, and sharing stories of his grandchildren. I don't think I would be lying or exagerating that he too was  overcome with joy and perhaps a little pride. We said often over the day that among his children, there is not a "dud" to be found. Regardless of their differring life experiences, they have all turned out to be good people. A great big thanks goes to their mothers, Vicky and Anita. 

I think what my point is that we really never know what God and the Universe has in store. Things that we think are impossible, may just be around the corner. God has often put my best made plans to shame and I am grateful. But on this day I am grateful to my God and the Universe that you saw fit to have a family, that at sometimes has been divided, together in happiness and love. 

Canada Day 2015

Happy Canada!!!!

I have said before and I will say it again, and until I die, I AM A PROUD CANADIAN. 

Today is not a day for politics or to share about my disatisfaction with our present government. Today is a day to let the world know we live in the best country in the world. We have more reasons to be proud than most Canadians know.

•We are the 2nd largest country in the world. 

•We have the only military force that completed their D. Day Mission on schedule. 

•We have 2 official languages. 

•Toronto has been listed as the most multicultural city in the world. 

•We are the most educated country in the world, with over half of our residences having a college degree. 

•Montreal is the 2nd largest French speaking city in the world, after Paris. 

•We are the home of the tallest totem pole in thw world, in Victoria. 

•Canada has a literacy rate of 99%. 

•We have braille on our currency (also Mexico, Israel, India). 

•The Mall of the Americas is owned by Canadians. 

•We have no Weapons of Mass Destruction as 1984, and have signed treaties repudiating their possesion. 

•After the attack on Pearl Harbor, Canada declared war against the Japanese before the U.S. 

•Canadian Police Services give out Positive Tickets when they see someone doing something positive. 

•Americans have invaded Canada twice, in 1775 and 1812. They lost both times. 

•We were the 3rd country in space. And considered to have the most advanced space program in 1962.

•The Avro. 

•Our inventions, advancements and discoveries include: the telephone, baskeball, the electric range, IMAX, insulin, and stem cells. 

I hope this has let people know that we are so much more than the "little brother" of the U.S.  

Be Proud. 

What is Race.

Many of you may have heard of the Rachel Dolezal, of Spokane, president of their NAACP chapter, who has identified herself as "African American."  It has since been made public, by her family that she is not. She did grow up with foster Black brothers and sisters, but her biological parents are indeed white. The NAACP has decided to support her and regardless of her race, she is not exempt from her position.

All that being said, it begs the question, how does one identify one's race?  

I am raising bi racial children and their Father and I have done our best to be "colour blind" and teach our children to be the same. It was not until my son started pre school that he questioned his "colour."  He ran up to me asked what colour he was. I admit that in my naivety, I was unprepared. I assumed that we had gotten past the idea of colour by their generation. Regretfully I was wrong.  My instintive answer was he was Café au Lait. His Father being the "café" and myself being the "au lait."  This answered satified him for quite a long time. 

I noticed, however, as he grew older, that he began to say he was black. I asked why, and his response was that this was the way other people saw him. Which brings me back to my original question. How do we identify our race? 

I cannot speak of the criteria of anyone else but me. I have done my best to maintain my blindness to colour. I see myself as a woman of the human race. My skin tone is irrelevant and whatever colours others see when they look at me are of no consequence. My heritage is of Ireland and Sweden, but I am a very proud Canadian. I appreciate that there are a plethora of cultures and subcultures on this planet, and am curious about all of them. Knowledge is the surest way to eliminate fear and prejudice. 

I do not know why Ms. Dolezal would identify her race as black when biologically she is not. But it does open up a large can of worms. What is the definition of race?

Mother & Daughter

I remember when I was a teenager. No other girl had the relationship like the one I had and have with my Mom. I really didn't understand why. I have always had a wonderful relationship with my Mom. I can ask her "Do I look fat in this?", and know I will get an honest but loving answer. And she can count on me for the same. 

I honestly could never fathom how much my Mom (and Dad) love me until I had children of my own. I changed on a molecular level. 

Today I had the pleasure of spending the day with my daughter and although we are at the beginning of her teenagehood, I think we have a relationship like my Mom and I have. We drive in the car, with the windows down singing at the top of our voices to the soundtrack to RENT.  Often the salespeople, when we are out shopping, laugh at our loving banter. 

I have so much fun when we are out together. We laugh and are honest about what looks good or not. 

Yes I am still her Mom and have to be the "bad guy". But as her Mom that is my job. I love her enough to let her hate me for a while. 

Parenthood is tough. But a day like today makes every rough tough moment worth it and then some. 

Busy being Born.

I am a passionate person. Most people who know me, will confirm this. 

One of my biggest passions is learning; anything and everything. I love watching documentaries: crime, history, nature and any other kind. 

Learning is part of my dedication to growth. Not only my knowledge of facts, but of spiritual and philosophical concepts. I want to learn everything. 

Much of the knowledge may be considered trivial. I realise that much of the facts I know will not make me a dollar. Nonetheless I value these facts because they encourage me to think and see the wonders of the Universe. It reminds me that I am not the end all and be all of this world and there is something divine at work in my life and that of every other living creature. 

My passion does not stop at learning that porcupines masturbate or that giraffes have the same number of bones in their necks as humans or that a koala bear has three vaginas (yup, it's true). But I also am constantly looking for a better way to live my life. How to change my perspective to help me be a better me. Whether it is learning about a different faith, or being able to see the wonders of Nature, there is always something to be learned. And most of all, I know that I can learn from anyone and anything. It may be from the cashier at the grocery store, the homeless person on the street, or a Phd. professor at a reputable University. There is something I can learn if I open my mind to it. I have learned that a smile, a please and a thank you can mean a lot to a person; that some people need compassion not judgement; and that sometimes a phd is just a piece of paper. 

If I am not busy being born, than I am busy dying. As long as I continue to learn, I am always busy being born.