Olympians and Olympians

The Summer Olympics now over and becoming a memory, I feel the need to express myself.  There are so many things that could be said about the money or politics of the games.  After some research, I learned that money issues are universal in all sports and that the games have had political issues since the beginning.  After some reflection, I realized that there are far more important things that I need to say.

As a Canadian, I am excited and proud that our team did extremely well in the various events winning a total of 27medals (as of August 10), a Canadian best of non boycotted Olympics.  Most of them won by the Ladies. As a woman I can only say "You Go Girls." But I want to say something to the non medal winners, Canadian and the rest of the world. 

There are far less post competition interviews for the the athletes that finish off the podium.  They probably won't have the city name a street after them.  Their welcome home will probably not include National Leaders.  In fact it may only be family that meet them at the airport for the ride home.  I want to change that, even it is just with this post. And change it for a lot of unsung heroes and heroines of the olympic challenges of life.

Canada sent a total of 338 competitors to Paris in 2024, including alternates.  Canada's total population is 39.9 million.  That means, if my calculations are correct,  that far less than 1% of Canadians can claim Olympian status this year.  The world wide population is approximately 8 billion.  The total number of competitors In Paris is 10 700.  My limited math knowledge tells me that means that fewer than 1 in a million can call themselves an Olympian in 2024. (Please correct me if I messed up.)

In my opinion that is something of which to be proud.  These are not just individuals that woke up one morning said I want to go to the olympics and 6 months later were representing their country on the world stage.  Olympians train for most of their lives for a games that last only two weeks. If you think about the Men's 100m dash, it's less than 10 seconds.  There are 1000s of hours of training.  They must overcome injuries.  They must put their education on hold.  They face financial challenges to make their Olympic dream come true.  The commitment that these athletes have is immeasurable.  Something I know, I would be unable to do, physically and emotionally.  These people are superheroes that don't have the honour of wearing a cape.  

Many of us may feel that we have nothing of which to be proud.  No one is giving out gold medals for getting up every morning and pushing through the day.  Some feel unappreciated by their bosses.  Our teenage children think we are the epitome of uncool and a complete embarrassment.  Don't they see the work we put in to keep them fed, clothed and in some cases in school.  All of us make sacrifices everyday for the ones we love. We put our personal goals aside so that others can have a chance to reach theirs.  This is more than medal worthy, it is statue worthy.  And all of us do this at some point in our lives. 

At some point in my life I woke up to the fact that I am a writer.  It took a while, and I had to be figuratively and, in a way, literally hit in the head to realize it.  So, I set a goal.  I wanted to write a novel.  I had to face naysayers; more than I expected and from people I thought would be in my corner. But I had a small group behind me.  I wrote when ever I could.  Much of the book was written in arenas while I waited for my son's hockey game or my daughters figure skating to start.  But more important than anything, I wrote a novel.  It has a beginning, a middle and an end.  With the priceless help of professional colleagues, it has been edited and polished and is  being sent out to agents and publishers. I have a slew of rejections letters to prove it.  I am committed.  Yes my original goal was just to write the novel.  But because of my cheerleaders, I have set new goals.  I am writing two  new novels, two picture books and am continuing to submit my completed manuscript.  This takes a long term commitment, just like those Olympians who may not see the podium.  

We are all just like those in one in a million. We work very hard at whatever is put in front of us. It may not seem monumental in the eyes of others, which means nothing.  When I was diagnosed with  MS, my first neurologist made a point of telling me how good I had it compared to some of his other patients.  I assume he was trying to teach me gratitude for not being confined to a wheelchair or many of the other restrictions people with MS may face.  At that time in my life (my 20s), all it did was invalidate my feelings of loss, fear and frustration.  My second neurologist had a much better bed side manner.  He let me know that though my symptoms were not the worse he had ever seen, it was the worse I had ever felt and that is what mattered.  Wow, it was ok to not feel ok.

I extrapolate this point to all of us.  Our challenges may not be on the world stage.  We don't get international press.  Nobody is going to build us a statue because we washed the dishes, folded the laundry, and helped our children with their homework.  There are not ceremonies for mowing the lawn, getting the children to their extracurriculars, and shovelling the snow from the driveway.  Maybe there should be.  These are a monumental tasks for those who face them every day.  Those who are completing them, should think so.  Do not downplay your daily accomplishments.  I have been guilty of that myself.  I make a  "DONE"  list instead of a to do list.  It forces my brain to look differently at my day.  It is a concrete record of my accomplishments and triumphs whether the rest of the world sees them as such or not.

So what am trying to say?  I think it is okay to look at others as heroes and heroines.  It may even be necessary for motivation to move forward.  But let's not forget the heroes and heroines we are.  And WE ARE.  We don't wear capes.  We don't have a logo blazing across our chest. We are not given medals and there is not standing on a podium.  But we do have superpowers.  In our very being is a superpower.  Showing up everyday is a superpower.  You are a Superhero/ine.  Don't ever forget it.

Life’s Meaning

What is the meaning of life?  

Many a philosopher have pondered this question. 

“The ultimate goal of human existence is not just to live but to live a good meaning and virtuous life.”  Socrates.

“…to know and understand the truth or the ‘eidos’ of the good…” Plato.

“Rivers know this:  there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”  Winnie the Pooh.

“Today I will behave as if this is the day I will be remembered.”  Dr. Seuss. 

As accomplished as Socrates and Plato may be, as philosophers go, I prefer Winnie the Pooh and Dr. Seuss. They just seem to keep life simple. 

As simple as they keep there thinking, it doesn’t mean it’s easy. I often wonder what is my purpose, as I think every person should do, at least occasionally. 

There are as many purposes to life as there are people in the world; and not a one is the same. 

That is a pretty daunting thought, but it means that the only purpose for which you are looking, is your own. For some, including me, it’s hard to believe that in the mass of humanity that I’m special. 

The fact is that I am, as is everyone. Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson explained it best. We are each unique. In all the people that have been, in all the people that are, and all the people that will ever be, and the people that could be, there is no one like me. Ominous. Miraculous. 

Logic only dictates that means I have a singular purpose. The next question is how to know what it is. This is the challenging part. 

There are many ways to undertake this search. For a time, I wandered along aimlessly trying to be what was expected by the situation in which I was, or the people with whom I was. This was both exhausting and futile. 

At sometime I realized a few important life lessons. I wish I could give credit to my teachers but it didn’t come in bolt of lightning. It was a long time coming; and a long time learning. 

Through life experience, I have learned that I’m smarter than I think, braver than I believe, and stronger than I seem. (Another Winnie quote.) Because of this, I know that I cannot only survive life’s trials and tribulations, but grow and thrive. 

I’m not meant to be Nelson Mandela or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Those jobs have been taken. I’m meant to be Stephanie A. Maidens. The best I can be today, and even better tomorrow. Some days that may involve teaching and most definitely learning. To do so, I have to keep my eyes open for the opportunities. This is not always easy for me. I tend to be a bit on the stubborn side. Honestly, being of Swedish and Irish decent, I really didn’t have a choice. But the signs are always there. It could be in nature to teach me about the wonders around me. It could be seeing those less fortunate than me to remind me that “There but for the grace of God go I.”  

To truly know my purpose for today, I pray “ for the knowledge of God’s will for me and the power to carry that out.”  I admit that I forget the last part of that prayer. This is when I can get overwhelmed by the task in front of me. I have yelled at my Higher Power more than once. “Are you FKG crazy?”  May be S/He is sometimes, but S/He has never been wrong. 

So does all this answer the question of my purpose?  I know that my purpose changes daily. Sometimes it’s monumental. Sometimes it’s just taking the garbage can to the curb. No matter, if I’m being me, I’m succeeding. 

(Temporary Backup) Happiness

Happiness is an inside job. 

You’re only as happy as you make your mind up to be. 

Happiness is not having what you want; it’s wanting what you have. 

I know that there a million other clichés about being happy, but these will help me make my point. Although they sound wise, simple and easy, the easy part is BULL SHIT. 

Pardon my language but I need to make the point of this post perfectly clear. As simple as it sounds, the path to happiness is not for wimps. 

This post is not going to be about  cute kittens, Unicorns or rainbows. It is about a battle: the battle for happiness. 

It seems an oxymoron to use the words happiness and battle in the same sentence but there is nothing more true. 

I know that I don’t speak only for myself when I say my life has not gone according to plan. Some of it has far exceeded expectations, but a lot has fell way short. Looking only at the latter can drown me in disappointment, inadequacy and failure. They have a very strong current that is not easy to survive, never mind maneuver. It takes a lot of strength and endurance which can be in short supply. 

The obvious answer is to signal for help, but those feelings themselves make me want to isolate, like being alone is going to somehow save me. I got here by doing it alone, how could it help to stay alone. 

No battle, no war was ever won alone. Other than Canada, Great Britain and the US, 10 other countries sent troops to storm Normandy. Together they began the end of WWII. This is just one example and if none of the military power houses of the time could take down the Nazis on their own, what makes me think I can make it through life without others?  Pride? Fear?

It is easy to see all the strikes against me. I have MS which significantly reduces my ability to do things, like working full time and not needing outside help to stay financially a float. 

My marriage failed and although I know I am not solely to blame, I know I did have a part. I don’t have a house anymore and am unlikely to be able to own one alone. I constantly feel that I’m behind, especially when I see all the accomplishments others my age have achieved. I’m not able to give to my children what I have wanted. And if I don’t force myself to stop, that list can go on forever. 

So I reach out. There is always someone or something. They remind me of all the good things to tally; all the ones that I have forgotten or discounted while sinking in an undertow. 

I loved my ex husband deeply and did my best to make the marriage work. My MS has been stable for many years because I have done my best to take care of my needs. I helped raise two of the most exceptional children that have ever lived. They are two of the best people I know and are changing my world with inspiration every day. I have a part time job that I truly love and feel that I am doing good for a lot of young people; maybe even broadening their horizons. I have people in my life that love and support me and whom I love. 

With all these good things, it should be easy to stay happy. 

But we all know that’s not true. Many people have even more “good” things in their lives and still battle to be happy. So what do we do?

I think the first step to any happiness or peace or serenity must start with acceptance of what is and what isn’t. There are so many things that are totally beyond my control. That includes everything except my behaviour. There is something incredibly empowering when I admit powerlessness. I can focus on me, somewhat guilt free. I’m a Mom so I feel guilty at times.  But I look for progress not perfection.

I will never be an astronaut or a nuclear scientist. But I never wanted to be any way. 

To quote my son, “The people around you who really care have a way of keeping things in perspective.”  I wonder how he got so smart. 

After acceptance, I have to move on to gratitude. Sometimes the list is pretty basic, but if smaller things make you happy, the happier you’ll be. 

I say thank you for the Sun. It warms my face and spirit. 

I say thank you for food and shelter. They keep safe and alive. 

I say thank you for family and friends. They hold me up when I cannot stand on my own. 

I say thank you for a desire to learn. As long as I learn I am being born anew. If I’m not busy being born, I’m busy dying. 

I say thank you for the ability to love and be compassionate. It gives be the opportunity to be loved and experience deep joy. 

With a list like this, why is it hard to stay happy. Because, though I am a spiritual being, I am having a human experience. And as such I falter. I can be blind to the beauty and deaf to the symphony that is my life. 

This is the ultimate battle. To look past the dark and see the light. It is not easy. The darkness can be heavy and paralyzing. The light is there. With acceptance and gratitude for what is and the help of others, its glow is powerful and empowering. 

(Temporary Backup) Happiness

Happiness is an inside job. 

You’re only as happy as you make your mind up to be. 

Happiness is not having what you want; it’s wanting what you have. 

I know that there a million other clichés about being happy, but these will help me make my point. Although they sound wise, simple and easy, the easy part is BULL SHIT. 

Pardon my language but I need to make the point of this post perfectly clear. As simple as it sounds, the path to happiness is not for wimps. 

This post is not going to be about  cute kittens, unicorns or rainbows. It is about a battle: the battle for happiness. 

It seems an oxymoron to use the words happiness and battle in the same sentence but there is nothing more true. 

I know that I don’t speak only for myself when I say my life has not gone according to plan. Some of it has far exceeded expectations, but a lot has fallen short. Looking only at the latter can drown me in disappointment, inadequacy and failure. They have a very strong current that is not easy to survive, never mind maneuver. It takes a lot of strength and endurance which can be in short supply. 

The obvious answer is to signal for help, but those feelings themselves make me want to isolate, like being alone is going to somehow save me. I got here by doing it alone, how could it help to stay alone. 

No battle, no war was ever won alone. Other than Canada, Great Britain and the US, 10 other countries sent troops to storm Normandy. Together they began the end of WWII. This is just one example. If none of the military power houses of the time could take down the Nazis on their own, what makes me think I can make it through life without others?  Pride? Fear?

It is easy to see all the strikes against me. I have MS which significantly reduces my ability to do things, like working full time and not needing outside help to stay financially a float. 

My marriage failed and although I know I am not solely to blame, I know I did have a part. I don’t have a house anymore and am unlikely to be able to own one again. I constantly feel that I’m behind, especially when I see all the accomplishments of others my age have achieved. I’m not able to give to my children what I have want. And if I don’t force myself to stop, that list can go on forever. 

So I reach out. There is always someone or something. They remind me of all the good things to tally; all the ones that I have forgotten or discounted while sinking in an undertow. 

I loved my ex husband deeply and did my best to make the marriage work. My MS has been stable for many years because I have done my best to take care of my needs. I helped raise two of the most exceptional children that have ever lived. They are two of the best people I know and are changing my world with inspiration every day. I have a part time job that I truly love and feel that I am doing good for a lot of young people; maybe even broadening their horizons. I have people in my life that love and support me and whom I love. 

With all these good things, it should be easy to stay happy. 

But we all know that’s not true. Many people have even more “good” things in their lives and still battle to be happy. So what do we do?

I think the first step to any happiness or peace or serenity must start with acceptance of what is and what isn’t. There are so many things that are totally beyond my control. That includes everything except my behaviour. There is something incredibly empowering when I admit powerlessness. I can focus on me, somewhat guilt free. I’m a Mom so I feel guilty at times.  But I look for progress not perfection.

I will never be an astronaut or a nuclear scientist. But I never wanted to be any way. 

To quote my son, “The people around you who really care have a way of keeping things in perspective.”  I wonder how he got so smart. 

After acceptance, I have to move on to gratitude. Sometimes the list is pretty basic, but if smaller things make you happy, the happier you’ll be. 

I say thank you for the Sun. It warms my face and spirit. 

I say thank you for food and shelter. They keep alive and safe. 

I say thank you for family and friends. They hold me up when I cannot stand on my own. 

I say thank you for a desire to learn. As long as I learn I am being born anew. If I’m not busy being born, I’m busy dying. 

I say thank you for the ability to love and be compassionate. It gives be the opportunity to be loved and experience deep joy. 

With a list like this, why is it hard to stay happy. Because, though I am a spiritual being, I am having a human experience. And as such I falter. I can be blind to the beauty and deaf to the symphony that is my life. 

This is the ultimate battle. To look past the dark and see the light. It is not easy. The darkness can be heavy and paralyzing. The light is there. With acceptance and gratitude for what is and the help of others, its glow is powerful and empowering. 

Embrace The Confusion

     

I have often said if I were ever to write an autobiography it would be titled Embrace the Confusion.  In fact, I spend most of my waking hours confused.  If anyone knows me they know that I am not only a fountain of trivial knowledge but, I am also a geyser of questions.  The most commonly asked is why.  

    In fact I drove some high school teachers to distraction with all my questions.  Poor Mr. Dumanski in Grace Nine Science was tortured for an entire term.  This course was an introduction to several topics, including biology, physics and a bit of chemistry.  Mr. Dumanski was patient but apparently I was asking some questions beyond his scope of knowledge.  This didn't in anyway make him a bad teacher.  After all he was teaching the course as a replacement for a teacher on maternity leave.  At some point, I think he became overwhelmed and brought in the head of the science department, Mr. Tucci, to answer some of my questions.  Let's remember, this was science; some times it just is.  I think there is a why to everything, but we just know what it is yet. 

    I asked many questions through out my scholastic career and beyond.  I admit that it has become even more intense in my adulthood.  This is not something of which I am ashamed; in fact, quite the opposite.  I also taught my children to do the same.  Whenever you read, see or hear ANYTHING ask who is saying it; why are they saying it;  and who benefits.  This allows them to make intelligent and some what educated decisions.  The most important skill I had to teach my children was to think.  The world doesn't need blind following drones; it has enough. 

Some of the questions I ask may seem a bit ridiculous, even to me.  Be that as it may, they continue to randomly enter my mind.  Such as:

•    Why does the Pythagorean Theory work? And who truly discovered it?  Pythagora? The Babylonians? The Egyptians?

• What is Goofy? A dog? A cow? Some sort of genetic hybrid?

• What does human history look like to a 200 year old tree?

• Why do moths fly towards the light?  Are they seeking heat or spiritual enlightenment?

    And these are just a few that could pass through my mind in a given day or even an hour.  I guess these would be the more light hearted sort; nonetheless I would like to know the answers.

    

    Not all my questions are so benign.  Human behaviour has always fascinated me and confused me.  For instance:

• Why do people hate? How does it happen? Is it taught? Is it learned? Why can't people see it's destructiveness?

• Why is there war?  Does anything good come from it? If yes, what is it?

• Why does industry seem to think that profits are more important to people?

• What is the benefit of being rich, if the planet is unliveable for the human race?

   My most perplexing questions are of a more personal nature.  It goes way beyond "Why am I here?". I, at least, have a vague idea about that.  But I want to know more. 

• Am I here to learn a lesson or teach a lesson? If yes, what is it? How do I do it?

• Why do my life teachers die before I have learned all I can from them?

• Am I living my life according to God's plan for me? If not, how do I find The Plan?

• Have I have done enough to make the world better? What else can I do? Why does it never feel like I am doing enough?

    I have met many people who move through life with few to no questions about anything.  There is something to be said for the adage that ignorance is bliss.  But I  seem to be anatomically in capable of living that way.  Sometimes, I wish I could.  It seems like it would be a much more peaceful existence.  For me, that is all it would be, existence.  I could not grow.  And this goes against everything I know and feel in my heart and soul.  

    So I had to embrace the confusion.  To accept that I have an instinctual need to know why.  I cannot imagine myself being any other way.  I accept that this is me and regardless of the chaos it may cause, every answer is worth it.  It makes me a better person and affords me the chance to share my knowledge with others. 

That is why I am here.

The Path to Courage.

 The Path to Courage

Courage is ever elusive.

It hides in the light.

A light that is blinding,

Or are we just blind to see it.

It is obscured by circumstances;

Places we have been!

Times we have lived!

Things we have seen!

Making our eyes focus;

Focus on what is, not what could be. 

We do not realize what we can be. 

We stay trapped in what we are.

Imprisoned by false limitations;

Shackled to walls by chains;

The chains of fear and doubt.

Struggling and searching.

Still fearing what we will see.

It is there; it is somewhere; it is everywhere. 

We wander lost in a jungle!

A jungle of of our making!

A jungle we feed everyday!

A jungle ever growing!

We must learn to tame this jungle.

The light we are seeking is within us.

We need only to push fear aside.

The glow is ever present as sure as the Sun.

There to warm us!

There to move us!

There to guide us!

We have only to follow 

Follow as the Star of the Magi.

The fire of hope is bright.

An eternal Flame with in us.

A Flame in our mind!

A Flame in our soul!

A Flame in our spirit!

A Flame burning in our whole self.

We have only to let it consume our disbelief.

Hope cannot live without our attention.

It has a constant need of stoking. 

Hope must be loved!

Hope must be adored!

Hope must be worshipped!

It must be tended with all the passion of our Heart.

Know that Hope will illuminate us.

It can only brighten our World. 

We will see what we are!

We will see what we can be!

We see what we can do!

Hope will always be there if we believe.

Through Hope we discover Faith.

There will be no other choice.

Faith in what we are meant to be!

Faith in what will be our future!

Faith in a future of our creation!

Our Faith must burn bright and strong.

Our Faith will always be under siege;

By our own fear, by our own doubt.

Attacked by the words of others!

Attacked by those who love us!

Attacked by those whom we love!

We must build our Faith and defend it until our last breath.

Our Faith will only lead in one direction;

The direction to all that is good. 

Faith leads to our strength!

Faith leads to our endurance!

Faith leads to our continued resolve!

The road takes us all to Courage.

Courage will only take us to our better self.

We will have no choice.

Courage gives us the desire to change!

Courage gives us the fortitude to change!

Courage gives us the need to change!

With our constant movement forward,

We can only be better.

With every inch, step and leap

We will become our Best.

Hope, Faith and Courage is the only way.

Don't be hindered by fear. 

Break free and make the World a Better place.

(Temporary Backup) Cultural Respect???

I want to preface this entry with the following. I support the idea of inclusiveness. There should be no discrimination based on anything. The judgement of any person should be based on their character. 

I also understand that transgendered persons would like to be seen as the gender with which they identify, not what they may have been assigned at birth. The LGBTQ community should be respected. 

Any culture and faith should be able to practice according to their traditions and within the laws of their country. 

All that being said, I think that some people and organizations may be taking this a bit far. 

The British Museum in London, the National Museum of Scotland and the Great North Museum: Hancock have made a decision regarding the term “Mummy.”  These reputable institutions have assessed that the term is dehumanizing and prefer using “mummified remains.”  I would like to remind everyone that these people are dead. And believe that the dead should be respected, but changing the name is literally the least Egyptologists could do. 

According to some, “Mummy” is too much a reminder of British Imperialism. Well, there are far more poignant reminders of imperialism in the world. I draw your attention to most countries in Africa. After the British, and other European countries determined that occupation of African nations was no longer profitable, they left. The transition of power was tumultuous and brought about violence that is still evident decades after being “granted” independence. 

The use of “Mummy” is deemed dehumanizing. In many parts of the world it is a criminal offence to perform indignities to a body. I really don’t think I am stretching to say that digging up a thousand year old body, is pretty undignified. Should I mention the grave robbing?  There have been countless exhibits of King Tutankhamum’s treasures floating around the world after being “discovered” in 1922. Is this not profiting from the robbery of a grave?  

The final reason for the change in terminology is that the word “Mummy,” because of literature and film, has become synonymous with monsters and evil. We all know that this is pretend, right?  I don’t think there are people that actually believe that when children come to their door on October 31st, the one wrapped in toilet paper is there to fulfill some ancient curse. 

Yes, I do believe that language should change to be respectful, but there are far more significant ways to honour an individual, faith or a culture than changing a word. Isn’t said that actions speak louder than words?  

Sources:

elpalais.com

thetutankhumanexbition.co.uk

responsibletravel.com

egypttoday.com

history.com