Don't Let Fear Make a Decision for You.

 Since, in Canada, yesterday was Thanksgiving, I thought I might write about those things for which  I am grateful.  I do that so often, and Facebook, Instagram etc. have many a post to remind us how blessed we are. So I am going a different route.  

I have recently been communicating with a friend from high school. We have both started a direction in our working lives and we are both loving it.  We are both 50 years old. 

I have heard many people my age, younger and older say:  "It's too late...." They want to go back to school; they want to start a new hobby; or they want to travel.  This statement makes no sense to me.  There are many reasons that any of this may not be possible today: finances, health, or availability of resources.  But too late is not one. 

If you calculate how old you will be in the time to take on something new, and how old you will be if you chose not to do so, you will come up with the same answer.  So what does too late really mean.

I can only speak for myself.  It is fear; fear of success or fear of failure.  Which one it is does not matter.  What truly matters is what I do with this fear.  I have often told my children and others, "It is ok to be afraid, but let the fear make the decision for you."  Sometimes I am not very good at taking my own advice.  

So I applied to Oxford Learning Centre in Bradford. (https://www.oxfordlearning.com/locations/tutor-bradford/)  And to my surprise and delight, I was hired.  I am now a teacher.  I have been told since childhood that I would make a great teacher.  I never believed it.  I had excuses of course.  I did not have the patience.  It's too much responsibility.  I could not imagine that it would be something at which I could be successful.  But I am.  And more importantly, I love it.  

I was afraid when I applied that I would be laughed out of the interview; that just because I can speak French, does not make me a French teacher; and many other excuses.  But none of this happened.  As usual I was selling my short. I have had a habit of doing that most of my life.  I can only say that now, I don't listen to that part of myself, as much.  I have been blessed by those people in my life that encourage, support and help press mute to those thoughts.  

Because of courage and unconditional support, I have written the novel I said I would.  I have sent it to agents and publishers.  I am teacher and feeling like I am making a difference in this world.  Will that novel get published?  Will one of my students mention me in their Nobel Prize acceptance speech?  Will the minister of education commission a statue in my honour?  Maybe.  But none of that really matters.  What matters is that I took a risk.  I put myself out there.  If I had not been hired, I would be no worse off.  I would still be working on my novel and meeting new people at the Snack Shack at the Oro Medonte Arena.  But because I did take the risk, I am better off.  I am learning new things from other teachers and students every day.  And this makes me a better person.  Why would anyone want to pass up a chance to be a better person?

So, don't ever sell yourself short.  You are on this Earth for a reason.  Take those piano lessons, take that sky diving class, start that new business.  You never know unless you try. 

NEVER QUIT 5 MINUTES BEFORE THE MIRACLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN.  Since, in Canada, yesterday was Thanksgiving, I thought I might write about those things for which  I am grateful.  I do that so often, and Facebook, Instagram etc. have many a post to remind us how blessed we are. So I am going a different route.  

I have recently been communicating with a friend from high school. We have both started a direction in our working lives and we are both loving it.  We are both 50 years old. 

I have heard many people my age, younger and older say:  "It's too late...." They want to go back to school; they want to start a new hobby; or they want to travel.  This statement makes no sense to me.  There are many reasons that any of this may not be possible today: finances, health, or availability of resources.  But too late is not one. 

If you calculate how old you will be in the time to take on something new, and how old you will be if you chose not to do so, you will come up with the same answer.  So what does too late really mean.

I can only speak for myself.  It is fear; fear of success or fear of failure.  Which one it is does not matter.  What truly matters is what I do with this fear.  I have often told my children and others, "It is ok to be afraid, but let the fear make the decision for you."  Sometimes I am not very good at taking my own advice.  

So I applied to Oxford Learning Centre in Bradford. (https://www.oxfordlearning.com/locations/tutor-bradford/)  And to my surprise and delight, I was hired.  I am now a teacher.  I have been told since childhood that I would make a great teacher.  I never believed it.  I had excuses of course.  I did not have the patience.  It's too much responsibility.  I could not imagine that it would be something at which I could be successful.  But I am.  And more importantly, I love it.  

I was afraid when I applied that I would be laughed out of the interview; that just because I can speak French, does not make me a French teacher; and many other excuses.  But none of this happened.  As usual I was selling my short. I have had a habit of doing that most of my life.  I can only say that now, I don't listen to that part of myself, as much.  I have been blessed by those people in my life that encourage, support and help press mute to those thoughts.  

Because of courage and unconditional support, I have written the novel I said I would.  I have sent it to agents and publishers.  I am teacher and feeling like I am making a difference in this world.  Will that novel get published?  Will one of my students mention me in their Nobel Prize acceptance speech?  Will the minister of education commission a statue in my honour?  Maybe.  But none of that really matters.  What matters is that I took a risk.  I put myself out there.  If I had not been hired, I would be no worse off.  I would still be working on my novel and meeting new people at the Snack Shack at the Oro Medonte Arena.  But because I did take the risk, I am better off.  I am learning new things from other teachers and students every day.  And this makes me a better person.  Why would anyone want to pass up a chance to be a better person?

So, don't ever sell yourself short.  You are on this Earth for a reason.  Take those piano lessons, take that sky diving class, start that new business.  You never know unless you try. 

NEVER QUIT 5 MINUTES BEFORE THE MIRACLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN.  

Childhood Memories

I am very blessed that most of my childhood memories are at least good, if not glorious.  There may be events that were less pleasant, but I am grateful that they have faded. In my present day life I am reminded of those special memories.  Today was one of those days.

My Hubby and I decided to take our four footed boys for a walk through a portion of the Trans Canada Trail along North Simcoe Rail Trail.  It was wonderful.  Not only did we enjoy it, the pooches has a great time too.  

The atmosphere brought me back to family camping trips to Kettles Lake Provincial Park. The smells, the sounds, and the sights all brought me back to the little girl who was in charge of picking up sticks for kindling.  We would cross the quiet park roads to Island Lake and frolic in the cool clear water.  On one occasion a cute surfeit of skunks passed along the beach.  Of course we curious young children followed eagerly to pet the new furry friends.  Many parents,  as calmly as possible so as not scare Mama Skunk, called their wee ones back, hoping to avoid an odiferous nightmare.   I remembered how my Mom would sit my brothers and me down and with hot soapy water clean the days adventures and accompanying dirt off before tucking us into sleeping bags.  Dad was always up early the next morning, making "coffee" on the fire.  This was the only time my older brother was allowed to drink coffee as a child.  I am sure it created a strong bond between the two of them.  

Along our walk today, the aroma of pine and birch wafted to my nose and returned me to those worry free days.  Flying fauna soared from one tree to the other calling to their feathered brethren.  The rainbow of flora, including the Fall Golden Rod and the Earth toned leaves, rustled in the cool September breeze.  Those leaves that had fallen free from the towering trees crisped and crunched under our feet.  All the while our canine companions trotted, sniffed and left notes for whatever wild life may later come by.  

It is hard to believe but I resisted the suggestion of this walk.  I thought I was too tired, or I had other things to do.  It turns out this was exactly what I needed to do and I feel more energized for having taken the stroll.  Perhaps it important to resist the part of you that wants to stay in one place and to embrace the part that will take to the happy places of today and yesterday.  

A Bad Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 https://youtu.be/gH476CxJxfg

 

We all have bad days.  I'm not sure if you've ever heard of burnt toast syndrome.  It's that day when you wake up late; your coffee maker doesn’t work; and your toast burns; your bus is late and it’s raining; you’re late for work, and your boss blasts you.  Then, the printer jams, as it often does and you explode, yelling, screaming, cursing and you have to be restrained not to through it out the window.  

Of course it is not the printer that has cause your reaction, but the build up of all those other things.  This is a bad day.  

It is also important to remember that there are some, myself included, that don’t need events to cause a bad day.  It is just the way we are. Our brain is wired differently. We did not ask for it nor can we change it.  We can only accept it.  This does not mean we like it, only that we accept that, no matter what our efforts, there will always be bad days.    

There are things I chose to do.  I chose to make my bed; it's a little thing, but it's something I’ve accomplished at the end of even the worse day and it gives me motivation to not go to bed and just feel sorry for myself.  I chose to take whatever vitamins, and medication that help my condition.  I chose to reach out to those I know love and understand me, without judgement or attempts to “fix” me.  I chose to eat, as much as I don’t want to, I eat.  It may only be a piece of toast with pb&j, but it nourishes and comforts me.  I chose to have tea, and perhaps a hot bath.  I chose self care for this is when I need it the most.  

There’s many out there who battle mental illness.  These individuals are the bravest and strongest people I know.  They are not weak or somehow less than anyone else. In fact, you may know someone who deals with these issues and not even know it.  It is in our nature to not want to worry those around us or, perhaps more often, we are trying to avoid the stigma and misunderstandings of others.   

For those of us who do this battle every day, do the do things, and remember :

IT IS TODAY, NOT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Ripples

I think we can all agree that 2020 has not been the best year for most of us.  The reasons are too many list. Though it is only September, the worst thing that I have faced this year is the death and funeral of my Dad.  I just cannot imagine a world without my Dad in it; but maybe I don’t have to.

I have known the idea of ripples for a long time.  I have been telling my kids about changing the World for a long time; maybe not the whole World, but their little corner of it.  And they have succeeded.  They may not always see it, but they do, everyday.  

I could not help but take note of my Father’s ripples this weekend.  Although, the numbers for the his funeral were limited because of covid 19 restrictions, it was obvious that he touched many lives, though he probably didn’t noticed it.  Towards the end of his life, my Dad was physically not at his best, but his mind and and wisdom was still clear.  He had a hard time believing that his very presence in a room could bring such joy and comfort.  My children always looked forward to seeing their Poppa.  They listened to his stories, of which he had many.  They were amazed by his knowledge and absorbed his wisdom like an arid sponge.  

His life did not start off easily, and he would admit that he made his share of mistakes.  He did have a spiritual awakening that gave him the courage to learn from those mistakes, defeat his demons, and made sure that those he loved knew it.  He was not perfect, but he always made sure he was a better man than he was yesterday.  By doing this, he left an abundance of good ripples. 

It was not only his immediate family that are riding his wave and in turn creating ripples of their own.  Grandchildren, nieces and nephews, students, and friends have gone on to touch the lives of those around them and continue my Dad’s legacy of love. 

Maybe it is my naïvety that’s makes me believe that everyone wants to leave behind a better world than when we arrived.  I do my best and I know my Dad succeeded.