Holiday Shopping Humour.

So. I have been dragged to the Mall on the next to last Saturday before Christmas and I forgot my football equipment. UGH!

It should be noted that MY Christmas Shopping is done. My 13 year old daughter is going to a Birthday Sleepover Party (epitome of oxymoron). And has to buy a gift. She has forgotten the wish list and so we have been wondering from store to store. The problem is, I am buying things in every store. 

I have decided to wait outside the store this time to give my debit card a rest. And I have begun to people watch. It is a passion of mine. 

This late in the December shopping season, one observes very distinct types. 

First, the young families. It's the first Christmas for a child and they have to get that perfect photo with Santa for the Grandparents. The Baby is either sleeping, crying or drooling. Dad is try to check the football score on his smart phone. And Mom is trying desperately to get the ribbon on Baby just so. By the way, Baby has no hair, which makes the ribbon simply ridiculous. As if the grandparents don't already know they have a granddaughter. 

Then we have the Dads with the kids. The reason he is out is because if he buys another kitchen appliance for his wife, he will have to pay a divorce lawyer to keep him from living in an alley in a piano crate. Mom is at home wrapping presents and insisted on privacy. His children are taking full advantage and are running amok. The inexperience Dad tries to bribe them with junk food which only worsens the situation. By the time he finds a gift for his wife, he is all out of money and is forced to go home empty handed except for the kids strung out on sugar. 

You also find the power Mom shopper. She is the one kicking herself for not finishing earlier. She has left the kids at home with their Dad. She knows that he is watching the game not the kids and the longer she is out shopping the bigger the mess. She will be forced to clean up this mess before feeding the kids and getting ready for the third Christmas party in two weeks. 

There are the teenage boys. Unless they have a girlfriend, they are only out to avoid the torturous hours of helping their Dad put up the outdoor Christmas lights. If one does have a girlfriend he may be looking for a gift but there is no way in the Universe he will buy it when he is out with "The Guys". It will be purchased when he is alone and in disguise later in the week. 

There are the Tween/Teen girls who twitter about and are just sooo confused as to what one of them will buy for the cute guy in math class. It may not matter that he doesn't know her name and she will probably sign the card "Secret Santa" so he never will. Also the question "What to buy my BFF?" It has to be just sooo right. And "What if she doesn't buy something for me?" "OMG. It will be sooo ooover. "

Finally there are the siblings. Mom and Dad have dropped off their little darlings. Mom and Dad quickly sneak off for some peace and quiet, and probably a nap. All the siblings have to do is find a present for Mom and Dad in the three hours allotted. It doesn't even have to be two presents. One to both of them is just fine. The two eldest argue and the small one has to pee. The eldest daughter finds the perfect romantic movie on BlueRay and the younger son thinks fishing gear is way better. And the little one still has to pee. After buying lunch, snacks and more pop for the little one, who still has to pee, they have no money and no present. They decide to go home and make redeemable coupons for hugs anytime of year. And the little one finally gets to pee. 

Although I dreaded this trip to the mall in the midst of the shopping season, I was able to chuckle at the chaos. 

If only we all knew that this holiday season, what ever your holiday, is about how much love you give and not about how much loot you get. 

Holidays

There are many Holidays in December. 

Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza and many more of which I am not aware. 

It seems that there is considerable contraversy over what should and  should not be displayed in public during this season. It is a contraversy that I do not understand. Why should anyone be offended by a Mkeka, Menorah or a Nativity scene; or any other cultural symbols that are appropriate for this time of year. If you want your celebration out there, than put it out there. Hopefully, it will peek people's curiosity and they will ask questions about what the symbols mean and how they are important to the celebration. This is a good thing. The more we know, the less we fear. The less we fear, the less we hate. The less we hate, the more we love. And is that not what these celebrations are all about. 

I grew up in a household that included just about every celebration through out the year. We did the standards but we had corn beef and cabbage every St. Patrick's Day and were sure to wear green right down to our underwear. This was because my Dad is from Irish decent. My Mom was born and raised in Sweden.  She knew very little about the patron Saint of Ireland, but embraced any reason that brought our family together. December 13 is Santa Lucia Day. This is a big celebration in Sweden with parades and special baking. We as a family put on the special costumes and brought the Swedish Peppar Cookies and Saffron Bread to my Dad in bed. For obvious reasons my Dad loved this and as children is was a way to connect with a heritage from across  the ocean. 

We also have a traditional Swedish Christmas Ham on Christmas Eve and since my children are half Jamaican, we enjoy curry goat. And after Midnight Mass, there was traditional French Canadian Tourtière. 

The Spirit of this season is love, whether it is to celebrate the Birth of a Saviour;Eight Days of Lamp Oil when there was only enough for one day; or a Year End Harvest. 

Please, every one, this is not a generic holiday season.  It means different things to different people. Let's include one another. If some one wants to wish me Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah or a Joyous Kwanza or any other, I do not and will not take offence or feel the need to correct them. Because I know that what is behind the words is a wish for joy and love. And I don't know anyone who would say no to that. 

So to every one peace and love and joy no matter if it is Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa or Festus...

 

Remembrance Day

I am very happy to hear that poppy sales are up this year. I suspect that some of this has to do with the recent attacks on the military on our home soil. (Canada)

It would be very easy for me to quote the numbers of soldiers and civilians who have died in the many wars that have been and still are. That I will leave to the historians and statisticians. 

I made a committment long ago to make  sure my children understand the sacrifices that were made on their behalf before they were even born. I know that my grandfather, Frank E. Maidens did participate in WWII. Because he was a husband and father, the military thought it best that he drive an ambulance transporting the wounded. Although he was not in battle, the sight of the death and maiming of soldiers,I am sure, must have taken a toll on his psychological and emotional welfare. I never met the man.  I wish I could have thanked him. 

I have made a point of shaking the hand of any veteran I see. Considering that my children are bi-racial, I don't believe I am being overdramatic when I say that they would not be here had it not been for the men and women that battled in WWII, be it on the front lines or behind the scenes, providing care and support that without, would have made victory impossible. 

I am always humbled in the presence of veterans and in fact find it difficult to hold back tears. They literally saved the World.  

One of my proudest moments as a Mom is when I saw my son walk up to veteran, with no prompting on my part, shook  his hand and said thank you. My Mother was with me asked what he was doing.   I told her and with a tear in my eye, I wanted to yell from the rooftops "That's my boy". And so I encourage all parents, present and future, to make sure your children know, and understand that they are free today because of a veteran. If I may quote Sir Winston Churchill. "Never have so many owed so much to so few."  

The Choice to Laugh or Cry

I have learned in my short  44 year career as  a human being that there are a plethora of people, places and things that are completely, unequivocally and 100% beyond my control.  And as a  result, and after much repetition by my father, I know that one can plan, but one cannot plan the out come.  And I think that the events of this past September are proof positive that if I focus on all that goes wrong, I would simply crawl  under my covers and cry and miss out on a million possibilities.. Yet, by some miracle, I was able to rise above the self pity and self doubt and come out at the end laughing and with a story to tell.  

The following are the events of September 1- 30, 2014

• the family moved from Shelburne to Barrie, ON;  NUTS!
• the destruction of my daughters bed and the loss of the hardware for my bed; NUTS AND BOLTS!!
• a relapse of Multiple Sclerosis; NERVES!!!
• a delay in the hook up for our natural gas, resulting in 3 days of cold showers;  BRRR!!!!
• washing machine broke down, TWICE; GITCH!!!!!
• our car Daisy, gave her life in service of the family, right after I filled her gas tank; PETROL!!!!!!
• delay in receiving payments from an organization that is suppose to protect me from financial ruin; $#@*!!!!!!!
• delay in the receipt of proceeds from the sale of our house in Shelburne. $$$$$$!!!!!!!!

I will admit that I did have a couple of days of self pity, with fears of having to move to a piano box on Bayfield Street, peddling my last belongings to feed my children.  But more important, I chose not to stay there.

But after that time, I put myself on the right track.  I did this by realizing that the Universe may have orchestrated my situation, but it equally orchestrated the solutions.  

I have been blessed with friends and family that I would take into any battle, and never doubt that they have my back. I have not always felt this way, but this September, it was proof positive. 

• a platoon of friends showed  up at my door in Shelburne and Barrie to move all my stuff out of the old and into the new;
• I called my neurologists and was prescribed the appropriate treatment for my MS;
• a friend gave my daughter a bed, and I get an excuse to shop at IKEA;
• I called my property manager and our gas was connected;
• I called the property manager and our washer machine will get a new drainage pump;
• I took Daisy to a mechanic and it was determined that she was unfixable, RIP.  The office manager, Teresa, at Kempenfelt Auto Repair, called around and found a junk yard that is paying me 325$ to take her from me;
• I have filed all pertinent paperwork, to continue my monthly payments without delay; and
• and I believe a deal has been struck so that the funds from our house in Shelburne will be released. 

Through all this I was able to maintain a positive attitude.  I did not let myself stay in that worse case scenario. I put one foot in front the other.  And sometimes that is all the Universe expects us to do.  I laughed at the end of the month, not because the situation was funny, but because the other choice was to cry.  And crying would not change the situation.  But by taking the action that I could, I am getting a new bed, a new car, and 325$ at the end of all this.  

This was not the outcome that I planned, nor was it what I expected at the beginning of the month.  It teaches me that in that room full of horse manure, there has to be a pony somewhere.  

I am at a Loss

I am sure that most of you have heard of the accidental shooting of a fire range instructor, Charles Vacca, by a nine year old girl at a gun range in Arizona. I extend my condolences to both families. I am sure both are going through a difficult time. 

I am a proud Canadian and I admit that I do not completely understand the near obsessive gun culture in the United States of America. I realize that the history of our two countries is drastically different. I undertand that when the American Constitution was written, the country was young and feared retaliation from the British after the USA independence. America did not have a National Army at the time and therefore would have to rely on a Self Armed Militia for its defense. And thus the 2nd Amendment in the Constitution was a reasonable provision at the time. 

All of that being said, and with all do respect to the NRA, all legally and properly regulated gun ranges everywhere, who puts an uzi in the hands of a child except for the extremists leaders who endoctrinate children in their revolutionary armies after his/her hench persons have killed the child's parents and burned their village. 

I understand that the parents were present at the gun range when Mr. Vacca was accidentaly shot. I am not sure of all the circumstances. As would I, I am assuming that the parents of the nine year old have purposely stayed away from the media, at least until all investigations are complete. Perhaps she begged her parents and since they were on vacation from NJ, they thought it would be ok, just this once. Maybe they figured that since it was a gun range with a good reputation that it would be safe. Perhaps they concluded that since Mr. Vacca was an army veteran, nothing bad could happen. Unfortunately, they were wrong. 

I reiterate that I am not an American and I disagree with the 2nd Amendment as it stand in the present. There are times when my children have asked to do things to which I have emphatically said no and wondered afterwards if I had denied some intrical experience that would help mature them and teach them a vital life lesson. If this has occured, I have not seen any major damage to them as of yet. They are both teenagers and seem to be adjusting to life as can reasonably expected from adolescents. 

If I were to assign blame to anyone in this situation most certainly it is not the child. No matter what she asked or said; how she may have begged or cried; even if she threw her self on the ground and gave a tantrum to rival that of a toddler, she is absolutely and unequivocally not at fault. 

I do not place fault on any one adult. There were several in this situation that should have known better. Firstly, the parents should have said no. Although I am not certain if the family owned guns, if they were hunters, or if the child had been trained in the use of other firearms, I don't think that anyone needs to be a gun specialist to realize that a nine year old is not physically capable of handling the power of a fully automatic sub machine gun. I am a 44 year old and I am quite sure that I could not handle the recoil of such a weapon. 

If for what ever reason the parents were not knowledgeable of this or were over come by the child's insistance, the operator or reception individual that first conversed with the family and provided them with the information and all the waivers (there were many I am sure) should have informed them that their child was to small for such a weapon. 

Mr. Vacca, though the one who ultimately paid the price, has to be held accountable. A veteran and with that a hero, must have been aware of the force of the weapon. And in turn, drawn the conclusion that this child was just physically incapable to maintain control. 

Ultimately and at the end of the day this was a tragic accident. However, if the adults making the decisions, and I mean ALL the adults because there were many, had only taken a moment to pause and think through all the possible scenarios, it is an accident that could have been avoided. 

Mental Illness

I am sure I am not alone when I say that the news of the suicide of Robin Williams saddens me deeply. I extend my heart felt sympathies to his many friends and his family. 

I congratulate him on his previous openess about his struggles with addiction and mental illness. I am sure that many find it hard to believe that a man who had such a gift for making us laugh suffered from episodes of deep sadness and hopelessness. What boggles my mind is that there have been attacks against him and his family because his death was a suicide. 

It is obvious that many people, regardless of the many recent campaigns to inform the public about what mental illness is, still do not get it.  This is my attempt to further the understanding of mental illness and those who suffer from its many manifestations. 

Mental illness is first and foremost an illness. It is an illness that although may be the result of physical chemical imbalances in the brain its symptoms are exhibited in the mind of the individual. This an area that is very misunderstood and this perhaps is the reason so many people draw conclusions and make judgements without understanding the nature of the problem. 

One with a mental illness should be judged no more than the one who has diabetes. In fact the two have a great deal in common. Both the diabetic and the one with mental illness did not ask for this disease; they would get better and healthy if they could;  and both diseases have treatment but no cure. 

If someone with diabetes died as a result of their disease, and it does happen, was called a coward by a member of the media, I am quite sure the public uproar would be deafening and that reporter would not have a job the next day. This is not the case with mental illness and suicide. 

As is true with cancer and other life threatening diseases, one does not just have a mental illness, one BATTLES a mental illness. It is a struggle every single day to get up in the morning and face another day of the loneliness, sadness, hopelessness. And on top of that the fear of judgement from your fellow human beings. No one would dare look at someone who is struggling and battling daily with cancer with disdain. He or she would not be told "to buck up. It's no big deal." However those who are mentally ill face this hostility daily if they were to be honest about their condition. Is it any wonder that most of the mentally ill suffer in silence. 

I hope this post opens the eyes of those who pass judgement and perhaps those same people should be grateful that they do not battle an invisible and misunderstood disease. 

Humility

The first thing to know and understand is that humility and humiliation are NOT the same thing. According to my copy of The Oxford Dictionary of Current English the definitions are as follows:

Humility: n. humble (showing a low estimate of one's importance) attitude of mind.

Humiliation: n. the harming of the dignity or self respect of ...

So, thank you Mr. or Ms. Oxford, for the rest of us in the real world, what does this mean. Well I am going to tell you what it means to me.

Humiliation is an attack on a soul, and has no place in my life. To allow it to be done to me hinders my growth and causing it to another hurts us both. We are in this world together and if we are to make it a better place we must build each other up not tear each other down. 

Humility means that I am teachable. It means that I recognize that every one on this planet; past, present and future; have a spiritual purpose. And that all individuals that I meet on this journey called life have something to teach me. And I mean everybody, from the geniuses of the hallowed halls of higher education to the illetrate poor of any where in the world. I believe that I am on this planet to grow as a spiritual being and to do so I must remain teachable by whomever is teaching the lesson. I am an important being and am here for a significant reason. However, I am no more important than anyone else and everyone's purpose is as significant as mine. By maintaining this attitude, I am open to new experiences and more knowledge and hopefully more wisdom. 

My Name is Stephanie.

Hey. So this is my first real post. So I think an introduction is in order. 

Probably the best way to describe me is whimsically unique. I love to be spontaneous and nurture my inner silly. Although, chronologically I am an adult, I hope I never let my self grow up completely. 

As a result it is very hard to really tell you what the theme of this blog is. I am a Mom of two teenagers so sometimes I am sure that is a topic will broached. I am a writer, so the challenges and joys of storytelling will be discussed. I am a huge Montreal Canadiens fan and I love hockey, so sports fan may be interested in following this blog also. Finally I am opiniated lady. I probably have an opinion on everything. More important, I try to make sure it is an informed opinion. If for whatever reason I have not taken a point of view into consideration, I invite respectful comments. 

That's about all for now. I hope you enjoy reading it. And remember, take what you like and leave the rest

Make your Day Brilliant. 

Test Post

Far far away, behind the word mountains, far from the countries Vokalia and Consonantia, there live the blind texts. Separated they live in Bookmarksgrove right at the coast of the Semantics, a large language ocean. A small river named Duden flows by their place and supplies it with the necessary regelialia. It is a paradisematic country, in which roasted parts of sentences fly into your mouth. Even the all-powerful Pointing has no control about the blind texts it is an almost unorthographic life One day however a small line of blind text by the name of Lorem Ipsum decided to leave for the far World of Grammar. The Big Oxmox advised her not to do so, because there were thousands of bad Commas, wild Question Marks and devious Semikoli, but the Little Blind Text didn’t listen. She packed her seven versalia, put her initial into the belt and made herself on the way. When she reached the first hills of the Italic Mountains, she had a last view back on the skyline of her hometown Bookmarksgrove, the headline of Alphabet Village and the subline of her own road, the Line