Success

Success is elusive. This not news to anyone. But perhaps it depends on your definition of success. 

We have all made plans for our lives, perhaps women more than men. Career, marriage, kids and a home. I did have a plan and expected to be somewhere else by age 45. But as my Dad has told me; it is okay to plan, but don't plan the outcome. In my fairy tale, I did not have multiple sclerosis, nor was I single mom of two teenagers and struggling to get a writing career started. 

No matter how close or how far I am to my dream life, it is MY LIFE and I am living it to the best of my ability. And this is far from perfect.

I have yelled at my children. I have said things to them that I shouldn't have. 

I have overextended my self and aggravated my MS. I don't sleep enough, I do my best, but I am sure I could eat better and I am sure I do not exercise enough. 

My "office" is a mess. I have little self discipline and an abundance of self doubt. 

But none of that is really important. 

Every day I tell my children how much I love them and how much I believe in them and their dreams. 

Every day, I eat something that grew out of the ground, not a factory. I have accepted that a nap is NOT a four letter word. 

And ever day I write something or edit something or read something to make me a better writer. 

My life is not perfect and neither am I. I am ok with that. Because I know I am doing my best. 

It may not be the glamour and drama of The Housewives from wherever. It is definitely not with the grace and wisdom of the Dalai Lama. And thankfully not with the whatever of Martha Stewart.

I am not looking for perfection anymore, but progress towards doing things better than yesterday. 

That is my definition of success.